"No" can feel safe, familiar even in its painful confusion. "No" creates conflict when all I want is sweet surrender. "No" tells me stories and creates excuses with a very compelling voice. "No" tells me I need to stay here and work on some things first, then I'll be ready to say "Yes. It creates separation when in truth there is none, only what I have created. It keeps me small.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
~Anais NinI've been here many times, change and growth come in cycles. There is a tightness in my chest and tears flow as my heart opens more and more to "Yes" in a way I haven't allowed myself to before. Surrendering old stories with courage and determination, moving through deeply ingrained patterns of fear knowing that "Yes" is the only way to see my gifts and Love flourish in the world.
What feels different this time is the deeper level of trust that is there. That this time I Trust more deeply than I ever have on a soul level and spirit level that I will be taken care of, caught, held, guided, nurtured, blessed, loved all the way through it. And it is this Trust that will allow me to push past the edge of my very being to free fall deeply into the mystery and the unknown.
So each day is a renewed commitment. Each day I take great deep breaths and surrender just a little more. Each day I remember how much easier it is, to just. say. yes.
Osho on Yes:
http://www.newfrontier.com/nepal/osho-tantra.htm
(Thanks David!)
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