Saturday, July 16, 2011

I want to let you in on a little secret.  Most of us aren't looking for goddess worshippers ( though it does look good on the resume ) so much as a strong man ~ or woman ~ to walk by our side.
One who is not afraid to walk their own path alongside ours with a wide open heart, clear eyes, and vibrant nature.
We want to feel seen, accepted for all of who 'we' are, not your projection of who you would like us to be.. and we want to return the favor and know it will be received.  Tis a powerful thing to see and feel seen.  To know that you can hold and also be held.
Therein ( I think ) lies the foundation of trust in all relationships.

Photo:  "Beloved" by Autumn Skye

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

More on Yes vs. No

Saying "Yes" is hard when it feels so comfortably uncomfortable in the "No".
"No" can feel safe, familiar even in its painful confusion.  "No" creates conflict when all I want is sweet surrender.  "No" tells me stories and creates excuses with a very compelling voice.  "No" tells me I need to stay here and work on some things first, then I'll be ready to say "Yes.    It creates separation when in truth there is none, only what I have created.  It keeps me small.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
~Anais Nin

I've been here many times, change and growth come in cycles.  There is a tightness in my chest and tears flow as my heart opens more and more to "Yes" in a way I haven't allowed myself to before.  Surrendering old stories with courage and determination, moving through deeply ingrained patterns of fear knowing that "Yes" is the only way to see my gifts and Love flourish in the world.  

What feels different this time is the deeper level of trust that is there.  That this time I Trust more deeply than I ever have on a soul level and spirit level that I will be taken care of, caught, held, guided, nurtured, blessed, loved all the way through it.  And it is this Trust that will allow me to push past the edge of my very being to free fall deeply into the mystery and the unknown.

So each day is a renewed commitment.  Each day I take great deep breaths and surrender just a little more. Each day I remember how much easier it is, to just. say. yes.

Osho on Yes:
(Thanks David!)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Fear is the mind-killer...

Writing is something that has always caused me distress, at certain times even terrified me.  I failed a class in college once because that was easier to me than the pressure of the writing that was required.  Because it required the use of my own original thoughts, my own voice.  I never felt I had an adequate enough vocabulary to express my thoughts on any subject when everyone around me seemed to have easy access to grace and eloquence.  I never felt what I had to say was important enough to be heard.

We are in the process of shifting into a new age and I have been observing and tracking this shifts for some time now.  I feel it is one of my roles in this process to do so.  I share these thoughts and observations with my friends and community, but more and more I am feeling called by spirit to make my voice bigger, louder, more accessible.  To allow for a bigger conversation to begin.  We are not meant to navigate these changing times alone, so I choose to move past my fear to the best of my ability and make myself transparent.  To share my own process. To trust my voice, my wisdom, and my guides.
I have no idea what will come of these ramblings, it is an exercise in finding my voice, moving through fear, and sorting through all this information running around my brain. Perhaps by beginning to put it down i'll be able to exact some sort of clarity..perhaps not, perhaps it will make sense to no one. Either we go!

"Close the door.  Write with no one looking over your shoulder.  Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say.  It's the one an only thing you have to offer"
~ Barbara Kingsolver